Venturing once more into the pixelated heart of darkness, “V/H/S/2” emerges from the static like a slightly better organized, albeit still chaotic, cousin of its predecessor. This anthology stitches together a quilt of horror that is, paradoxically, both tighter in its narrative weave and yet scattered in the quality of its tales. It’s as if the creators decided to refine their formula, managing to create a potion that’s both smoother and yet, somehow, missing a bit of the original’s chaotic charm.
Starting off, “Phase I Clinical Trials” feels like someone dared the filmmakers to find out how much dread they could squeeze out of the least exciting premise possible. It’s the cinematic equivalent of someone saying, “Hold my beer,” and then proceeding to read the instruction manual to a VCR in a spooky voice. The segment tries its best, earnestly reaching into its bag of tricks with a trembling hand, but ultimately pulls out a somewhat deflated balloon. It’s alright, I guess, standing out as a testament to what happens when ambition outpaces execution, making it one of the anthology’s weaker links.
Then we pedal into “A Ride in the Park,” a segment that, much like its protagonist, stumbles around, trying to find its footing before realizing it’s been bitten by the undead bug of “just okay-ness.” The concept, intriguing as it is, rides circles in a park of predictability, occasionally stopping at benches of brilliance, only to move on just as the view gets interesting. It’s a bit like attending a ghost tour where the guide is genuinely trying to scare you but keeps getting distracted by squirrels. Engaging? Somewhat. Could’ve used a shorter route? Definitely.
However, just when you’re about to call this anthology ride share to take you home early, “Safe Haven” bursts through the door, drenched in sweat, and insists you’re going to want to see this. And it’s right. This segment is the crown jewel of “V/H/S/2,” a meticulously crafted mayhem of cultish chaos that grabs you by the collar and doesn’t let go until you’ve both run through a field of cinematic insanity. It’s a story that manages to be both grotesquely beautiful and beautifully grotesque, standing tall and proud as it declares, “This is what you came for.” The creators of “Safe Haven” understood the assignment, turned it in early, and then helped the teacher grade papers.
Slipping into “Slumber Party Alien Abduction” feels like the movie’s attempt to recapture the magic with a dash of extraterrestrial spice, only to realize halfway through that it left the lid off the magic jar. The segment dives into the deep end of the pool without checking to see if there’s water. It’s a turbulent mix of shrieking, flashing lights, and the kind of chaos that makes you mildly nostalgic for the simple days of “Amateur Night” from the first film. It’s okay, sure, but it’s like finishing your meal with a dessert that’s more flashy than flavorful.
Overall, “V/H/S/2” feels like a sequel that knew it had big shoes to fill and decided to buy a new pair instead. It’s tighter, cleaner, and more cohesive, yet it can’t help but live in the shadow of its older sibling’s raw, untamed stories. It’s the polished, well-intentioned sequel that brings the family together for another round of horror anthology viewing, reminding us that while not every tape is a winner, the act of pressing ‘play’ is a thrill in itself. “V/H/S/2” proves that even in a world of high-definition, there’s something irresistibly haunting about the grain and grit of a VHS tape, even if the stories themselves sometimes leave us wanting.
V/H/S/2 (2013)
Summary
"V/H/S/2" feels like a sequel that knew it had big shoes to fill and decided to buy a new pair instead. It's tighter, cleaner, and more cohesive, yet it can't help but live in the shadow of its older sibling's raw, untamed stories.